Psycho Fluff

I, once told a soldier boy
He had bad breath
Shocked and appalled...
He immediately begged
For confirmation from a stranger
I didn't want to hurt the bloakes feelings
But...he asked me...you see
And I couldn't very well lie to the soldier
He had become a long time family snake of sorts
And appeared to pack authority
Unfortunately...
For his female conquests
That wasn't the case at all
His talents were known to be
Quite limited...
Due to his shortcomings
It would have been so much easier
To have swallowed the soldiers ill be-quifted gift
And massive bouts of alatosis
Had I the pleasure of knowing
The pubic pollinator
Actually packed a larger pistol
Hmmmmm...
I often wonder what became of the polluted pansy...