Pardon!

He Wants to What?
Oh my Gosh!
I was just Thinkin' about that Humper
As I perspired in the Hub of my Home...
Tearey-eyed n Disheveled
Relieving Myself
Of the Days Temptations...
Torturing my Tiny
Disobedient Colon...
Cleansing my Pallet
Thor is Definitely a Subject
Of Concentration

Pardon!
Senor Cuth
Has left the building!

Cyber-Love

Eese no steeky
Eese no messy
Eese puwty good
Deese Cyberr REVELATION!
I tink, maybe...
I like...
Very mush
I no haf spen muney
I no haf look good
I jus mus haf
Zee Internet Connexions
Eese verry easy
I can uh rrite
I can uh receeve
I can make a muney
I can spen a muney
I can fine a huney
I make uh connexions
Sumtimze...
I make joke
You trry!
You no be...
Deesappoined
I tink
I make happy you
Yes?

I Am A Victim...

Victim of Circumstance?
No.
I Am A Victim...
By Choice
A Victim...
With a Voice
I Don't Use
I Prey in Darkness
And Pray for Light
Smoke Signals
Received...
As Smoke Screens
Falling Dimmer
With Every Jab
I Dream of Laughter
And Ever After
Docile and Limp
Tearing Up
Without Emotion
Screaming Quietly
"Drink the Potion!"
Mailing Letters...
Unforeseen
Igniting...
Heartless Captors
I Am A Victim...
At Times Lay Still
Duelling with Morality
Scrambling for a Pill
Crawling Through
The River of Tears
In Search of Humanity...
Exuding Good Will
I Am A Victim...
Captured of My Will
I Am A Victim...
By Choice
Shackled...Belittled...And Shamed

Please...Just Let Me Fly!

I Don't want to be Angry
because...
Smiling Hurts!
I Don't want to be Upset
because...
Eating Hurts!
I Don't want to feel this pain in my Gut!
And I Don't want to Cry!

I'm Tired!
I'm Tired of Feeling Bad!
The Lies are KILLING Me!
And I'm Tired of being the Stronger Person
Because...
I'm Not!

I Bleed like any other...
But...Lie...to Kill the pain...
Not cause it!

I Don't want to Shake Uncontrollably!
I Don't want to Lose myself...
Again!
I'm Tired of Wanting to be Dead!
Just make it happen...
Already!

Please...
Just Let Me Fly!

I Want to Fly!
I Want to Fly myself to Freedom!
I Want to Feel Happy!
I Want to Be Happy...
Truly Happy!

Why is THIS so hard?

I'm Not a Bad Person!
I Try to do the Right Thing!
My Compassion Precedes Me!

So...
Why am I here?
Again?
Why am I in this Dark, Cold, Wet Hole?
AGAIN???

A few Rusty Bearings is all I have Left!
Common Sense is a Gift I was Never given!
Dignity Moved Out...
Way before I could speak!
SHAME...
Is my middle name!

I Don't want to Play, Anymore!
I Never signed Up in the First Place!

It's OVER!

I'm DONE!

For God Sakes!
Give me my Wings, Already!!!

I Just Want To Fly!!!

Please...
Just Let Me Fly!

The Toytie Chronicles Chapter 1

I stepped on a frog some years ago, but he didn't react the way one would after being stomped on with a big, fat greasy shoe. Instead, he turned over in the middle of the street and laughed. Startled by his reaction, I jumped up, lost my footing and landed right on my backside. Again, he laughed, but this time it was accompanied by a hearty chuckle as he held his tiny, round slithery belly. And I couldn't help it. I laughed right along with him. We laughed so hard it brought tears to our eyes. He was so cute and charismatic. I remember thinking to myself "this little froggie is so full of life. I hope I didn't hurt him." And before I could pull myself together, there he was...sitting on my lap, staring at me with the sweetest brown eyes I had ever seen. His smile was so warm and oh, so mesmerizing. I was hooked. Right then and there I was hooked on the cutest damn frog I had ever come in contact with. There hadn't been many, but I knew this one was different. This one was mine. Everytime he smiled, my heart smiled. It would swell up like a ripe tomato and glisten as if it had been kissed by the sun. I was in a dream...but...I wasn't dreaming. I was wide awake. I was living...I was feeling...and I was alive. Time just wouldn't stop for me and neither did he. He just kept on hopping. And just as quickly as he hopped into my life, he hopped right back out. He had places to go and explore with tons of people to meet. He had to share is charismatic smile with the world. It was his fate...and always would be. He was put on this earth for everyone else, but himself. That froggie in the street will always be that little froggie in the street...cute...charismatic...and full of life. But for me, that froggie will always be my Prince. And one of these days, I'll have the opportunity of stepping on him, again and losing myself in those sweet brown eyes. One of these days...again...my heart will smile.