Wake Up Call !!!

Maybe...
If I Was Dead
He'd Come Looking For Me
Maybe...
If I Actually Stopped Breathing
His Heart Would Seek Me Out
Maybe...
I Just Need
A Good Swift Kick
In The Trunk!

I Went From Wanting Love
To Needing Love
And I Actually Thought
I Had Finally Found "The Magic"
But...The Ol' Noggin'
Caught a Painful "Epiphany"
As a Bogus Two by Four
Went Wailing Across My Face

"He Doesn't Want You!
He May Say That He Does...
But...That's Not What He Means!"

What the "Penny Pinching" Photo Jerk Needs to Say is:

"I Could Do You...
As Long as You Live Within
A Twenty Mile Radius...
And Remain Completely Oblivious
Of All Other "Fine Feline" Party Favors
Within My Territorial Playground
What Can I Say?
I'm a Professional Wanderer and Seeker...
Wandering the Streets of Oblivion
While, Seeking Out Hot Babes
It's What I Do...
Not Who?
I'm Just Not a "Relationship" Kind of Guy
The "R" Word
Completely Annihilates My New Found Chi
I Mean...
The Mere Thought of Someone Hanging on Me
Without a Whip and Chain in Hand
Grossly Upsets and Discontinues
The Very Mold of Me
Unless...Of Course...
It Spells Out Riches
Now "Committment"...
Wreaks of Complete and Utter Disappointment
That Sucker's a Flat Liner
Just a Hint of the "C" Word
Has Me In the Dark...
Convulsing Profusely
"Exits", Kinky and Pleather
Are All I Need to Breathe
I Don't Want Love...or Strings...
Or Closets Full of Dangerous Stinky Shoes!
I Don't Need It!
I Don't Need Any of It!
I Just Want Insurance!
Should Havoc Come
Barreling Down on My Lungs...
That's Where You Come In...
To Nurse Me Back to Freedom
Comprehende?"

Anyone With Over 300 Facebook Friends
Is Either A Player
A Prostitute
Or Both
That Alone, Should Have Raised a Red Flag
But...Love is Blind...Stupid...And Sometimes...
A Lil' Messy
Oh Well...
Back to Cyberspace
Or Better, Yet
The Little Cantina Down the Street
I Kinda Wanna Get Lucky...
I Mean Laid...
I Mean Nasty, Naughty n Naked!
Who Needs Love
When You Got Tequila?