American Woman

Tits n Ass! Tits n Ass! Everywhere I look in this damn trailer, I got some pretty young thang starin' up at me with huge fake tits and a big bony ass. And I am so over it. It's official. I'm calling in the professionals. Out with the old and in with the HUGE. I am so done with this ol' body I can't even tell ya. After tomorrow, this ol' classic is gettin' a full body overhaul...from tiny rag top droops to draggin' ass bottom. We are gettin' tucked, sucked, lifted and in-jected with only the most quality of poisons ever con"cock"ted by a "crazy ass" scientist. I want it all. And like any red-blooded American Woman, I want it for a discount. I want cheap hard boobs sittin' perfectly spaced on my crooked little collar bone. Cleavage to high heaven...is my dream. And if they interfere with my swollen new lips, I'll just work um out...with a partner...of course. I just yearn for the day when I can walk down the road...butt naked...in some flashy, pain stakingly uncomfortable, nine inch weapons of pleather. I want respect accompanied by druell. And I want it, now. I demand it! So hang on to your own damn love handles. This future, Triple D masterpiece is fixin' to be handle-free. First class all the way! Baby! So when you're done chuggin' that there Tall-boy just stick it in this here aluminum can receptacle. I'm gonna need me all the aluminum cans I can get my grimmy little hands on if I'm ever gonna reach Porn-star status. And you might start thinkin' about saving up, yourself, cuz' I'm a need me a New Stripper Pole. That rusty one you borrowed from your mamma, last year, just ain't gonna do the "new girls" justice...besides...it stinks.